Veranda Tales-Worrying robs life out of living

Storytelling has been an integral part of my life since childhood. I grew up listening to stories during the hot summer evenings and nights with my cousins. Mothers and grandmothers would gather all of us children for story time. It was usually pitch dark except for a very faint light coming from the flickering candle. Power cuts were as frequent as the hot and humid summer days. We all spread out on a cool concrete floor or bamboo mats on the veranda intently listening to fascinating stories about kings, queens, princes, princesses, and peasants alike. Stories about love, life, families, and people entertained and taught us life skills. These stories transported us to distant worlds, strange yet familiar. Often the same story told by two people sounded different as storytellers added new twists and turns adding their personal style and flair to the stories.

Storytelling wasn’t limited to summer evenings and bedtime. I was surrounded by adults who didn’t pass up an opportunity to share their wisdom using the art of storytelling. These rich vibrant oral traditions include songs, poems, stories, and సామెతలు (Sametalu are proverbs in Telugu). Men and women sing songs as they work in the fields, grinding grains and spices and doing other daily chores at their homes. Stories are often used to teach important life lessons, interpersonal skills, and survival skills. These stories and the time spent listening to them made our lives richer leaving an impression on me. This series is all about reliving those memories as I share these stories.

చితా దహతి నిర్జీవం, చింతా దహతి జీవితం (chithaa dahathi nirjeevam, chinthaa dahathi jeevitham)

Worrying about the future is human. We can’t live life without a healthy dose of worry. It kept our ancestors from becoming a meal to predators. In our daily lives thinking about things that could go wrong, helps us plan and avoid unpleasant experiences. What happens when our worries overwhelm us into inaction or reaction? It is a fine balance between planning for the future and stopping living our lives out of fear of things going wrong. “చితా దహతి నిర్జీవం చింతా దహతి జీవితం” sameta which is derived from a సంకృత శ్లోకం (Sanskrit Slokam) illustrates how futile worrying can be. 

Indian languages are rich in metaphors and sametas derived from their root language Sanskrit. This rhyming శ్లోకం (Slokam) uses, two Sanskrit words, చితా (chithaa) and చింతా (chinthaa). These two words mean the same in Sanskrit and Telugu. చితా (chithaa) means funeral pyre and చింతా (chinthaa) can be translated to worry, sadness, sorrow, rumination.

The meaning of this శ్లోకం (Slokam) is -

“చింతా (chinthaa - worrying) is worse than చితా (chithaa - funeral pyre) as the చితా (chithaa) consumes a dead body whereas చింతా (chinthaa) consumes a living person.” The message is that excessive sadness or worrying is harmful as it can rob life out of the living. In two short poetic verses, this శ్లోకం (Slokam) offers profound and thought provoking message and cautions us all about the ineffectiveness of worrying too much.

When I hear this శ్లోకం (Slokam), I think about all the times I worried for nothing. It doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t think about things that could go wrong and come up with alternate plans. It just means that we shouldn’t let worry and fear about the future ruin our present.

I have had my share of worrying about 15% of the things that could go wrong while ignoring 85% that could go right, thereby ruining a few weeks before a vacation or an event. It is amusing when I think about how audacious it was to get on a plane with nothing but a few clothes and books to start a new life halfway across the world when I was barely twenty. I have to remind myself of those days where I didn’t shy away from taking risks.

We become cautious as we get older and especially when we become parents. Our world full of opportunities shrinks in our heads as we take on the role of keeping our children safe. It hasn’t stopped me from taking risks in my career and life. However, I let myself get overwhelmed by thinking about the things that could go wrong. I have started to train myself to weigh the merits of these worries and fears that pop into my head and plan for the ones that are real and ignore the ones that aren’t.

This శ్లోకం (Slokam) makes me think about Siddhartha Gautama who later became Gautama Buddha and his father, King Śuddhodana of Shakya kingdom. Queen Mayadevi, Siddhartha Gautama’s mother passed away just seven days after his birth in 563 BCE. During the birth celebrations, a hermit named Asita traveled from his mountain abode to visit the newborn and announced that the newborn prince would either become a great చక్రవర్తి (chakravarti is Emperor in Sanskrit and Telugu) or a great Buddha (enlightened one). So did the eight brahmins invited by his father for the naming ceremony held on the fifth day of Siddhartha Gautama’s birth. Koundinya, a young brahmin, predicted that the newborn prince would become a great Buddha (enlightened one) and that he would follow him.

What happened during the first 29 years of Siddhartha Gautama’s life is what comes to my mind when I hear this శ్లోకం (Slokam). Śuddhodana’s world turned upside down in just seven short days. He was on a rollercoaster ride of highs and lows of life. He was blessed with a newborn son and lost his wife within a week. He was told his son would either become a great చక్రవర్తి (chakravarti) if he were to stay home or a great Buddha if he left home. He was happy about the prediction about his son becoming a great చక్రవర్తి (chakravarti) following in his footsteps. The possibility of his son becoming a great Buddha worried him since if it were to come true, he would lose his son and his people would lose a king after his time.

Śuddhodana was determined to make sure his son would be a great king and world ruler. He took measures to make that happen by isolating Siddhartha Gautama in his palace. His wife’s younger sister, Mahapajapati Gotami raised Siddhartha Gautama and he made important decisions about his son’s education and training. Śuddhodana took every measure to make sure his son was surrounded by pleasures of life and completely shielded from realities of life such as hardships, sickness, old age, and death. Śuddhodana thought if he shields his son from seeing and experiencing suffering, he would grow up happy and content thereby choosing the path to be a చక్రవర్తి (chakravarti). He made sure his son’s education didn’t include religious teachings and human suffering. Siddhartha Gautama was well educated and acquired skills necessary to ascend to the throne without a glimpse of life’s hardships and experiencing them.

Śuddhodana must have lived in fear of his son stepping outside the palace and encountering a sick person, old person or a dead person. He would have had to take measures to control the information flow to the palace about hardships people face in the kingdom. He probably didn’t talk about his wife who passed away soon after his son’s birth.

చింతా (chinthaa) about his son leaving the path to becoming a a చక్రవర్తి (chakravarti) consumed Śuddhodana’s life. He made sure his son grew up, married, and gave him a grandson. He was well on his way to see his son ascend the throne. Even after taking all these measures, Śuddhodana couldn't shelter his son from seeing and witnessing suffering which is a natural progression of life. His son was shocked when he saw a sick man when he went outside the palace for the first time. He then saw an old man and a dead corpse. His charioteer Chandaka explained to him that all people get sick, grow old, and die. He then saw a religious ascetic who looked peaceful and happy. He realized the path he was on would lead to suffering and there was no way to avoid it. He wanted to do something different with his life other than going through the normal path of being a son, husband, father, and a చక్రవర్తి (chakravarti). He determined living the life of an ascetic would be his path to be free of life’s shackles which would lead to suffering.

Śuddhodana after having lived 29 years in fear of his son leaving the palace, witnessed the moment he dreaded. He was devastated when his son walked away, renouncing the life of a prince at the age of 29 and leaving his wife, Yasodhara and his infant son, Rahula to pursue the path to enlightenment. He wept and begged his son to change his mind only to watch him leave the palace for good. Śuddhodana tried to locate his son until the news came seven years later that his son became a Buddha. Śuddhodana embodied this “చితా దహతి నిర్జీవం చింతా దహతి జీవితం” శ్లోకం (Slokam) living in fear worrying about the future.