Like a betel nut in a nutcracker
Amma1 asked if she had told us about a couple who came to her parents’ house looking for shelter and work. Nanna2 and her were visiting us and my spouse, our sons, and I were enjoying their company as they both shared family stories, their childhood and mine. She started telling us the story without waiting for my answer, while staring into a distance as if the events were replaying in her head.
As you know, travelers who were passing through our town routinely stopped by our house asking for shelter for the night and my parents provided them with both during my childhood. It was the custom to host anyone who comes asking for help in those days. One evening as we were getting ready to sit down for dinner, a young couple, a man and a woman in their early twenties, walked in through the front gate. The man asked Tatayya3 if he and his wife could stay for the night. I observed that there was something strange about them. They were both young, the man was muscular with a weathered look that could be the result of working in the fields. The woman, on the other hand, had delicate features with soft hands like she never lifted a finger to do any work or spent time in the sun. He was dressed in simple clothes whereas she was in a finely woven cotton saree, earrings and a necklace. They had a small bag full of clothes and other necessities as if they left in a rush. Ammumma gave them dinner and then gave them bedding and showed them where they could sleep for the night.
I was surprised to find them both at our house the next day because I expected them to get back on the road after their night stay. I learned that the man asked for work and Ammumma4 hired them to do gardening and other chores around the house. I was not at all surprised when I noticed that the man was doing all the work while the woman did very little, confirming my observation that the woman looked like she wasn’t accustomed to hard work. The man attended to her needs as if she was someone he worked for, while she carried herself like a wealthy person's daughter dressed in nice clothes. They slept in a spare room and spent time working in the yard during the day. Ammumma didn’t have any complaints about their work, though she also thought that something was odd about their situation. She said to me, “I think the woman is the daughter of a wealthy farmer the man used to work for. I suspect they eloped, fingers crossed the farmer wouldn’t come looking for them.” I learned from them that they were indeed in love, eloped, wanting to get married and make a life for themselves.
A few months went by before what Ammummua feared became reality. One morning, a group of villagers showed up at our door asking about a man and woman fitting the description of the couple who was working for us. A man who looked like the leader of the group told Tatayya that his daughter left with their farmhand a few months ago, and he had been searching for them ever since. He came looking for them as soon as he learned that they might be at our house. Tatayya was concerned that the couple would be in danger if he handed them over to the villagers. At the same time, he knew he didn’t have the authority to prevent them from taking them back to their village.
We desperately hoped that the couple weren’t the people the villagers were after. Alas, our hopes were dashed when the farmer confirmed that the woman was his daughter. The couple were scared, looked pale, and the man understood that his life was in danger. Ammumma and Tatayya weren't on board to hand the couple over to the villagers without asking for assurances that no harm would come to them. Tatayya asked if they could leave the man alone and take the daughter home with them. In the end, it was really out of their hands as the villagers were armed and determined to get what they came looking for. We helplessly watched as they loaded them onto their bullock cart as it pulled away from the house.
“I was sick to my stomach thinking that the couple would not make it back to the village alive. I kept thinking that they should have gotten on a train that took them farther away instead of stopping in a place close to their village," said Amma. Scanning our faces as we all looked sad, she continued, “That’s not the end of the story though. A few weeks later, the man came back alive and worked for us for a few years. He told us that the farmer decided to let him go to bury the story about the elopement. The woman was married off to someone who didn’t know about her past. Even though it was sad that they couldn’t stay together, they got to live. He appeared to have made peace with this outcome and the situation.” She wondered aloud if her parents had indeed made a difference by pleading for the safety of the couple.
Amma told us that she thought of “అడకత్తెరలో పోకచెక్కలాగా (Adakatteralo poka chekka laga)” when the villagers came for the couple and that it described the couple’s predicament was “like a betel nut in a nutcracker”. Nanna said, “I am glad they managed to get out of the nutcracker without getting crushed physically even though their hearts weren’t spared.” My spouse added, “It is a positive outcome for the couple based on what I heard growing up about such incidents. At least they didn’t end up dead Romeo5 and Juliet6." “I am glad the man remained sane, unlike Majnu7 who became unhinged, and I hope the woman did not die soon after she got married like Layla8.” I added.
Amma was curious if something like this could happen in the US. She asked, “Can people from different races marry in the US?” “They can and interracial marriages have been legal nationwide since 1967, though they were legal in some states before then.” I replied. Amma said, “Hmm. I expected them to be legal much longer than that in the US because I was under the impression that people in the US would have more freedom in choosing whom they marry, unlike us in India, where the majority of people marry someone within their caste. So what happened when people of different races married before it became legal?” “They were arrested and punished or worse yet, killed,” I said as my spouse nodded in agreement. Amma said, “I am glad things changed for the better," and looked at Nanna for his opinion. He was intently following our conversation and offered his observation, "It appears our impressions from afar could be wrong. Hey, we are indeed in a better place now.”
1 - అమ్మ (Amma) is mother in Telugu.
2 - నాన్న (Nanna) is father in Telugu.
3 - తాతయ్య (Tatayya) is maternal or paternal grandfather.
4 - అమ్ముమ్మ (Ammumma) is maternal grandmother.
5, 6 - Romeo and Juliet is a William Shakespeare play about the tragic romance between two young people from feuding Italian families.
7 , 8 - Layla and Majnu is a story about a 7th-century Arabian poet Qays ibn al-Mulawwah and his lover Layla bint Mahdi (later known as Layla al-Aamiriya). They fell in love when they were young. As they got older, Quays kept writing poems about his lover and talking about her constantly with people around him. This led to him developing a reputation for being unhinged and people calling him “Majnu (unhinged)." Layla's father didn’t agree to Layla marrying an unhinged man, forcing her to marry another man. She died of heartbreak soon after the marriage. Quays truly went mad after Layla’s death.